


Do you know what I saw when I was shot at?

by tardisesandtitans



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: ANGGGGGGGSTTTTTT, Fuck you test audiences XD, M/M, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE GOLDEN CIRCLE, Merlin isn't present but he is incredibly imporant, Merlin's name is Hamish, References Lee Unwin, References Tildsy, References to The Golden Circle, THIS IS NOT FUCKING SPECTACULAR!, TIldsy is Eggsy and Princess Tilde, There's more where this came from ;), angssssttttttttt, headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 04:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12674724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardisesandtitans/pseuds/tardisesandtitans
Summary: Second Kingsman fanfic! This is a lot sadder, and like my tags say, its has MAJOR spoilers for The Golden Circle, so if you've not seen the film please don't read further.Harry's thoughts about his dear Hamish as he watches him sacrifice himself, and its aftermath.





	Do you know what I saw when I was shot at?

**Author's Note:**

> Like my tags say, this has MAJOR spoilers for The Golden Circle, so if you've not seen the film please don't read further.  
> This involves references to the novel adaption of TGC too, which I am also making a oneshot about. One of my many oneshot ideas XD I admit I wrote most of this before I saw the film, but I'm sure my fic makes sense. Feel free to let me know. This is not my best writing, but I know I'll improve.  
> Thank you so much for the 277 hits on my first fic, I never expected to get that much and I'm very flattered!  
> Hope you enjoy

'Do you know what I saw when I was shot? Nothing.'

When Hamish died, I didn't shed any tears.   
Because that was the frightening thought that has kept me up at night frequently, almost for three decades.  
Because when your carelessness almost causes the death of every man in an interrogation bunker, (and did cause the death of a great man) the nightmarish thought about the death of your lover becomes even more inevitable.  
But, as foolish as it was, I never thought he would actually die on the job.

All I allowed was to lower my head to hide my eye and eyepatch in silent grieving. On the inside, I was destroyed...  
Country Roads will always bring a tear to my eye from now on. It never has, not even when he sang it at a karaoke bar to me one anniversary. (My mouth curled upwards in nostalgia as I lost myself in the memory.)

But it never sounded sweeter than when Hamish sang it. His version is the best, and the most beautiful. I'll always hear his version when I listen to the song, he just...won't be there. He won't be with me.

Our relationship was a private one, we maintained it that way because of the Kingsman rule, and we felt that our sheer devotion and love for one another would someday worsen the blow of either of us dying. There was no point. Now I knew how he felt.

But that’s not why I told Eggsy when I got shot I felt nothing- I lied because I thought it would be better for me emotionally. But I saw every memory we shared, alone and with the rest of our friends.

With all that's in me, I hope Hamish sees the same.

Eggsy and mine's rage was manifested by our brutal murder of the rogue agent Whiskey.   
When it was over, we sat down and let our grievances free.   
My darling butterfly sacrificed himself to save us. (If that sounds familiar, just replace 'my darling butterfly' with 'Lee Unwin'.)  
“…Harry. Merlin’s dead.” Eggsy choked back a sob lifelessly. That poor boy.

My head stayed low as I wiped a tear that somehow got out of my watery vision. “We owe him a drink..." My voice shook as I wiped more tears, trying to get a hold of myself. "I'll be dammed if I don't find a new species of butterfly and name it after him.”   
My voice gave away only a portion of my deep sorrow. Which I soon set free.   
So now you know what I really saw when I was shot.  
We would never get to wear the golden circles that Eggsy and Princess Tilde wear.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you don't want to go all 'church scene' on me XD Thanks for reading


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